I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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