They should really pass out barf bags in church
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
