Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
