and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Come on in and take your pants off
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
