How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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