Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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