Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Randomize
