4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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