Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
