Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Semen is not good for contacts.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
