I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
