just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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