i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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