We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
