we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
