I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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