His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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