i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
