carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
