Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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