My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
