put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
