Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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