fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
