I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
