drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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