So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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