At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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