im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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