its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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