As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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