She is in my trunk
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
