So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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