Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Randomize
