Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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