well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
