Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
