I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
