I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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