1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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