Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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