I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
