idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
