Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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