Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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