if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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