I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
