Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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