Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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