he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
