Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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