I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kiss
Puke
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
