I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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