If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
how drunk are you?
Several
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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