I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
