its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You dont lie about slip and slides
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
