WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
