I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
