the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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