oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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