never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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