When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
