it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
