Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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