did you get engaged???
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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